Quote of the Day:
“Whoa, Nellie!” –Keith Jackson catchphrase
It’s July and you know what that means…….
…….Football. College football to be precise. Cheerleaders and marching bands. Snowy, muddy fields of battle. Huddling under your grandfather’s wool blanket with a thermos and a cowbell (or pom pom, or flag for fans of lesser schools). Gambling (but only if your in Vegas otherwise that’s illegal). Re-litigating the Civil War. Most of all, Thursday Pickin’. (I really need some theme music for Thursday Pickin. If I had it, I’d insert it here.) Yes, I know it is only Tuesday. You can’t pigeonhole Thursday Pickin’.
As usual, I invite you to make your predictions for your favorite team, your most bitter rival, and then anyone else you want to add. Also pick your BCS Championship Game participants and the winner. My picks are:
- Mississippi State 9-3 (It is July, I am allowed to be optimistic. Do not mock TB.)
- Ole Miss 6-6 (I am almost always wrong about such things and so I hope to be again. 4-8 is a more honest guess)
- USM 8-4 (aren’t they always?)
- Alabama vs Oregon in the Championship and Bama wins while I vomit.
No time right now to do a playlist, but I’ll add it in the comments. Your theme is Football. Stretch it any way you like and let me know what we need to be listening to.
In lieu of my playlist, I offer you a list of ways to make the season for the greatest spectator sport in these US’s of A even better than it already is:
- A Southeastern Conference reality show featuring fans of all 12….errr, 14 schools locked in a house with glass walls. Or maybe a loft in New York. Or a skybox at Tiger Stadium. I hereby copyright this multi-million dollar intellectual property.
- No mention of JoePa between August 1 and February. He’s dead to us. Either rip down his statue now or do it in February ’13. In the meantime, let’s just be thankful he’s out of the game, though I do wish he were still alive, mainly so he could hear us not speaking of him during the season.
- Outlaw the use of the word “class” when describing any particular fan base, especially Alabama’s. In just the last couple of years we’ve endured repeated news reports of Bammer fans behaving badly, such as Harvey Updike’s poisoning of the Auburn trees at Toomer’s Corner, the BCS Game teabagger, and now Nick Saban’s daughter’s thug life. Bammers, you are on notice. You’re the same as any other school on July 4th–no class. PS, let me take this opportunity not to mention Penn State at all.
- Legalize college football gambling in Mississippi.
- Speaking of Mississippi….State, Ole Miss and USM must play each other every year. Because it would be fun.
- No more commercials at live football games. I am thinking of going up for a couple of Mississippi State games this year. The main reason against going (since it’s July and I can’t conceive of us losing), is having to endure 1001 commercials when the band is supposed to be blaring Hail State.
- Allow every school to bring in out of conference officials for one game per year. How many of those games do you think would involve ‘Bama?
- No more jet fighter flyovers. It’s a wasteful use of government money and worse than that, it is cliche.
- ESPN needs to get all the audio they can from old-timers like Keith Jackson and Lindsay Nelson and Larry Munson and Jack Cristil and find any excuse to use them in their broadcasts and highlight shows.
- More cowbell.