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Aug
25

A Post For Mac and A Tribute to Neil Armstrong, From the TB Archives

Quote of the Day:  That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.”     –Neil Armstrong, on setting foot on the moon

Forty years ago Monday “we” put a man on the moon. Did you know Neil Armstrong blew that line and that it was scripted? It’s supposed to read “That’s one small step for man;”. It changes the meaning, makes it sensible. I have long noted the awkward phrasing but let it slide because we all know what he meant and I naively assumed he came up with the line at or near the time of its delivery. If I’d put much recent thought into it I feel confident I would’ve realized it was scripted, but it took Snopes to clue me in. In spite of the slip up, the quote is one of the most widely known utterances in all of history. I wonder who actually wrote it?

It occurs to me it is a good thing a line was prepared in advance for Armstrong. Otherwise, he would’ve spoken off the cuff as he left the spacecraft and might’ve said something less grandiose. For your consideration and enjoyment, I now provide you the likely alternatives to Armstrong’s famously poetic observation had some public relations intern in Houston not come up with “one small step.”

  1. Holy sh*t, I hope I don’t die.
  2. Eat my dust Buzz! Nobody cares who comes in second!
  3. I’m the king of the moooooooon!
  4. Whoops. Hold on, gotta go back in. Forgot the golf balls.
  5. Ohhhhh. It burns….it burns! Heh, just messin with y’all.
  6. One more step and I’m on the moon. Soon as I get home, I’m going to Disneyland!
  7. Are we live yet? Because I really need to go back to the dressing room and go over my lines one more time.
  8. Lollipop, lollipop, oh lollylollypop. Lolly POP. badumdumdum…
  9. I’m squishing your planet.
  10. Hey, it IS made of cheese.
——————–

RIP Neil Armstrong, American legend. (1930-2012)

That was the original post. Classic literature, eh? It was originally published on July 16, 2009, so the post would now read “forty-three years and one and a half months ago Monday….”

Here’s a few more possibilities for the first sentence if it hadn’t been carefully scripted, off the top of my head:

  • We got some Dawgggs up in here! Woof Woof!
  • That’s one, small….(Buzz shoves Armstrong out of the way) Ima let you finish, but Chuck Yeager had some of the best astronaut skillzz of All Time!
  • Y’all watch this shit…..I’m gonna set a new galaxy record in the long jump and the high jump. At the Same Time. Booyah.
  • Rocks. Nuttin’ but a bunch a’lousy rocks.
  • HELLO (hellohello) Is there anybody Out there?

Y’all add to my list in the comments.

As Wit pointed out in the comments last time, Eddie Izzard covered this ground once. Here’s his take:

 

Permanent link to this article: http://www.missingtheground.com/2012/08/a-post-for-mac-from-the-tb-archives/

  • Travellinbaen

    Pitalo! Good to see you.

    Thursday Pickin’ will be here rain or shine, hell or high water.

    FYI to you and anyone else reading….if you want to put up 20 bucks for the season, we are doing a side contest on pick of the week records. The best wins 75% of the pot, the worst gets 25%.

    Not required, just an extra. TP will proceed as normal.

    Anybody that wants in on the side action, just comment or email me at ben@travellinbaen.com

    About a dozen signed up so far.

    August 28 2012
    CommentsLike
    • Bobby Pitalo

      “Awww crap the Russians are already here”

      August 27 2012
      CommentsLike
      • Travellinbaen

        That’s what BR would’ve done.

        August 27 2012
        CommentsLike
        • Fish

          “That’s one small step for man, Just kidding America, YOU JUST GOT PUNKED!”

          August 27 2012
          CommentsLike
          • Mac

            I think it would have been grand if just as Neil was about to step back on the ladder, Buzz goosed it and moved the lander like 5 feet. About 3 times.

            August 26 2012
            CommentsLike
            • Travellinbaen

              Nice. I like number 3 the best.

              August 26 2012
              CommentsLike
              • Irvine Redd

                “Eww, I really can’t stand the color grey.”

                “Hey, nobody talked about actually getting out of the landing module”

                “Buzz, you ever stood on the moon…..on weed.”

                “I wonder what it’s like to masturbate up here.”

                “Look I get it Buzz, your poop floats in the air, now start shitting in the plastic bags like the rest of us you damn hippie.”

                August 26 2012
                CommentsLike

                • Goodnight room, goodnight moon! Goodnight light and the red balloon!

                  August 25 2012
                  CommentsLike
                  • Mac

                    “That’s one, small….(Buzz shoves Armstrong out of the way) Ima let you finish, but Chuck Yeager had some of the best astronaut skillzz of All Time!”
                    I would add one, but I can’t beat that. Thx TB.

                    August 25 2012
                    CommentsLike


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