I am kicking TB’s ass. He is vacationing for what must be the ump-teenth time this year and left us with a not so veiled order to keep the blog fresh. I don’t know how he used to keep one up by himself, quite frankly. I go through slumps when I really don’t feel like writing anything. I am definitely in one of those slumps now. So I have decided to slam a few Coors and whip out something just so I can say “hey, I didn’t post nuthin’ Ben!”
This is brainstorm blogging 101. I am pretty much going to talk about whatever comes to mind. As to the slump, I imagine it has something to do with all that chicken bigotry we just endured. I got tired of arguing with people who would go to the ends of the Earth to prove that they were not bad people…they just didn’t think gays deserved equal rights. I am definitely not trying to rekindle that fire now. I am just explaining the slump. I have been very standoffish on facebook. Only posting non -confrontational stuff. I know people get tired of my pontifications. So I try to give them a break with humorous Korean rap videos.
The squirrels started school this week. It makes me sad. I watch time like a fat man eats cake. My family heart history is shit so I don’t really reckon I will see 70. 60 is a more realistic goal. I think about death a lot so I impart particular significance to life events. That’s one reason that I am kinda crazy. I think about the saddest thing that can happen to a human being is to look back on your life with regret at missed opportunities and be too damned old to do anything about it. When I kick the bucket, I want people sitting in the audience to be thinking “That sumbitch gave it hell.” I mean, I am not about to go climb Everest or anything. We have to keep it realistic.
That brings me to my next confusing point. I am doing a calendar shoot. Yea, you read that right. The MS Burn Foundation does a firefighters calendar every year to raise money for burn victims and their families. There was much thought on my part on whether or not to do this. On one hand, it’s for a good cause. On the other hand, I am gonna catch holy hell from my fellow firemen. I cannot remotely put into words the ribbing I will take for this. My reasons for doing it boiled down to the following. I am a bit of an attention whore. (I have a large number of true friends right now saying “well, no shit”) Secondly, I will be 40 in January. Although I am in decent shape for my age, let’s be honest, the window for doing something like this is slamming shut quick, fast and in a hurry. The deciding factor was Christi’s blessing. She was all for the idea and said the squirrels would love it. We will see when they are teenagers, but so it is. I imagine I will take much glee in showing prospective boyfriends the pictures and making the little jack-legs as uncomfortable as possible. I may even hit on them just to shove the uncomfortableness into another level of hell.
Well, this looks long enough to my addled brain to constitute a submission to the MTG universe. I suppose I will bid you adieu. Stay crazy world. And more importantly, stay thirsty my friends.