«

»

Aug
08

TB leaves and we all go to hell.

I am kicking TB’s ass. He is vacationing for what must be the ump-teenth time this year and left us with a not so veiled order to keep the blog fresh. I don’t know how he used to keep one up by himself, quite frankly. I go through slumps when I really don’t feel like writing anything. I am definitely in one of those slumps now. So I have decided to slam a few Coors and whip out something just so I can say “hey, I didn’t post nuthin’ Ben!”

This is brainstorm blogging 101. I am pretty much going to talk about whatever comes to mind. As to the slump, I imagine it has something to do with all that chicken bigotry we just endured. I got tired of arguing with people who would go to the ends of the Earth to prove that they were not bad people…they just didn’t think gays deserved equal rights. I am definitely not trying to rekindle that fire now. I am just explaining the slump. I have been very standoffish on facebook. Only posting non -confrontational stuff. I know people get tired of my pontifications. So I try to give them a break with humorous Korean rap videos.

The squirrels started school this week. It makes me sad. I watch time like a fat man eats cake.  My family heart history is shit so I don’t really reckon I will see 70. 60 is a more realistic goal. I think about death a lot so I impart particular significance to life events. That’s one reason that I am kinda crazy. I think about the saddest thing that can happen to a human being is to look back on your life with regret at missed opportunities and be too damned old to do anything about it. When I kick the bucket, I want people sitting in the audience to be thinking “That sumbitch gave it hell.” I mean, I am not about to go climb Everest or anything. We have to keep it realistic.

That brings me to my next confusing point. I am doing a calendar shoot. Yea, you read that right. The MS Burn Foundation does a firefighters calendar every year to raise money for burn victims and their families. There was much thought on my part on whether or not to do this. On one hand, it’s for a good cause. On the other hand, I am gonna catch holy hell from my fellow firemen. I cannot remotely put into words the ribbing I will take for this. My reasons for doing it boiled down to the following. I am a bit of an attention whore. (I have a large number of true friends right now saying “well, no shit”) Secondly, I will be 40 in January. Although I am in decent shape for my age, let’s be honest, the window for doing something like this is slamming shut quick, fast and in a hurry. The deciding factor was Christi’s blessing. She was all for the idea and said the squirrels would love it. We will see when they are teenagers, but so it is. I imagine I will take much glee in showing prospective boyfriends the pictures and making the little jack-legs as uncomfortable as possible. I may even hit on them just to shove the uncomfortableness into another level of hell.

Well, this looks long enough to my addled brain to constitute a submission to the MTG universe.  I suppose I will bid you adieu. Stay crazy world. And more importantly, stay thirsty my friends.

Mac hangs onto his youth with every single fiber in his old ass body.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.missingtheground.com/2012/08/tb-leaves-and-we-all-go-to-hell/

  • Harmony

    I had to lol at “My family heart history is shit”, not because I am heartless (well not all the way at least), but because I SO feel you on that one. My poor kids got the shit end of the stick in the gene pool, heart issues on my side and cancer on my husbands..take your pick kids. SMH

    Good for you for deciding to do the calendar shoot for a good cause, despite the shit storm you will receive from your colleagues.

    August 09 2012
    CommentsLike
    • Smilyj

      No Jlou. I’m promise.SHIRT REQUIRED! Trust me!

      August 09 2012
      CommentsLike
      • Jessie Lou

        DO IT! You don’t strike me as someone who gives a crap about what others think so just get out there and give it your best pose, shirt optional.

        August 09 2012
        CommentsLike
        • smilyj

          If you want, You can take the photos, then have them crop your head on my body. Shirt off of course, and then you will be a star!

          August 09 2012
          CommentsLike
          • Mac

            Also, I think that link in the article brings you to the wrong thing. http://i.imgur.com/cpL2u.png

            That link was the one I wanted to include.

            August 08 2012
            CommentsLike
            • Mac

              Smiley, your first and second comments made me giggle. The first because it was funny. The second because I know you desparately want to see the Juddawg with his shirt off. #yoursecretssafewithme

              August 08 2012
              CommentsLike
              • Smilyj

                And I think I speak for everyone. Especially your wife and girls, when I say, please keep your shirt on.

                August 08 2012
                CommentsLike
                • Smilyj

                  Maybe it’ll work out better than my participation in a firefighter bachelor auction several years ago. When I was single of course. I was the last one auctioned and only received the minimum pity bid.

                  August 08 2012
                  CommentsLike


                  %d bloggers like this: