Monday, Monday Mash-Up. The time where we take random things from the previous week and mash ‘em together and rant excessively so while not putting too much emphasis on making any sense. The great and incredibly delusional Moooonnnnnday Mash-Up! <—–Imagine me singing this in my high pitched and seriously out of tune voice that I was gifted by God himself, hand picked! Or so I’m told.
This week we learn about the effects of adult onset ADD on how they can’t even let a girl wallow in pity without distractions of super hero dreams and another reason why I prefer the kids to stay young and sweet (notice how I didn’t add in mouthy or rude, maybe they will get the hint).
Two embittered sides fight for what they believe is right. A colossal waste of time, as the very thing they wish to protect becomes negligent second thought. I’m at war with myself. Burst of turmoil; boiling and churning pulling me inwards for battle, a scenario in which Good vs Bad = fallout of second-guessing and regret. Last week I found myself on the losing end of my battle within. Which if you think about it, is some seriously fucked up shit. If you can’t win a battle with yourself, what do you have to get up in the morning for? While I wallowed in pity as I tended to my chores and acted as a participant in my family, and a half decent human being in society, I couldn’t help but wonder how those people who completely shut down (you know the type, lay in bed and never leave no matter what or who is depending on them) do it. I caught myself mid-prayer, “Lord, grant me the strength to never leave my bed so that I may forever be in the land of the sads,” when I realized this must be a power of the Super Hero kind.
Taking a break from pity, I put forth some serious effort to determine how beneficial this power could be and how it might be used for the power of good. I won’t bore you with the various theme songs I came up with for our super hero of the moody kind… Well, to be honest they all pretty much started out the same “dun dun dunnn” followed by one word that reminded me of depression, like “droolz”. Droolz? I don’t know I assume bed dwellers drool a lot and the “z” gives it some flair. As much as I hoped this would turn into something worth being envious of, I couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t anything that I could seriously apply myself to. Maybe when the kids move out…I still got time. Is my future goal to be Captain Snooze A lot of the SS Doldrums? Maybe.
Check this out as I move from talking about being a moody blob to kid talk on God without any type of segue. Rules of Monday Mash-Up suggest that there are no rules. Which means, I can go to work without pants if I wanted to. Which would probably suggest that I should first get a job to NOT wear pants to. Whatever, I’m not wearing pants.
Saturday, while driving home from town, Ryder contemplated God. He pondered loudly his being a part of everything, but was perplexed on God never showing himself. Caught in avalanche of stupidity, I stumbled desperately to give him some hope and maintain a “decent Mom” standing. “You know those moments that are so amazing, exciting and wonderful that you can’t help but smile and you feel good all around?” I asked. Immediately pleased, he laughed and said, “Yes!” “That’s how God shows himself, in burst of happiness, glimpses of love, tears of joy and sorrow, and in the beauty that we find for ourselves in the world.” I struggled. “Like beautiful flowers?” he asked. “Exactly,” I replied hoping that it all, somehow, made sense in a lasting way. Rhythme chimed in “remember when Jesus Christ, pushed my Mom under water to clean her?” I was floored, I wondered how deep that statement went for her and found myself simply nodding in response. “That was a good day,” she said as she turned to look out the window. It amazes me the knowledge that children contain. Their secret world of understanding on a level that is so pure and unbelievably hopeful it makes you wonder what the heck happened during our transition into adulthood that scarred us so badly that this way of thinking can no longer be second nature. No worries, friends, I know what caused my ditching of naiveté and that there is no turning back (thank goodness on many levels). I also know it’s a milestone in waiting for the children and I’d hate to see what will turn them.
This week’s Monday Mash-Up was brought to you by:
Adult Onset ADD
Kid’s who talk about God.