Monday Mash-Up where I ramble on about nothing pretending it means something on a Monday. Unless it gets posted on another day, which can very well happen, but I’m sticking with a theme that is Monday Mash-Up because it is the only day of the week that starts with a M..Mooooonday Mash-UP. <- Let’s just pretend you can hear me singing this very awkwardly.
Today we learn that I am an unapproachable doofusberg with a seriously creepy love for cows and why we should just laugh when we don’t know how to respond to spare my feeling and integrity..or you know, anyone’s feelings and integrity..because other people exist too.
I’ve been told that, in person, I can be unapproachable. To which I immediately think “What?!?! I’m nice as fuck!” while my face contorts to a “bitch please” look. Joking aside, I honestly do think that I am a fairly decent person with nice tendencies, so it really does catch me off guard when someone finally admits this to me. And since it’s happened on several different occasions I can only conclude that they may have a point, or that I surround myself with horribly insecure people. Either way, I guess I should count my blessings that there is this wonderful thing called a second chance and for some a 3rd, or maybe 4th. No not a 4th, because crap gets old at some point and if you get to 4th you gotta let that hope of change die and move on.
I LOVE cows. I mean I really, really, REALLY love them. Ever since City Slickers came out and little baby Norm hit the screen, I have wanted one. Which doesn’t say much about my goals in life, except that I clearly need help and/or a cow (you know, whichever comes first). I’ve kind of been stalking a cow, and by stalking I mean I started taking a specific route home after school drop off just to see it’s sweet little face. Today, I wished I could pull over and hug it’s fuzzy little neck and I almost teared up. Yeah, I’m pretty much obsessed, but not in a weird cat lady way, except for maybe just a little.
You know that moment when you believe you’ve done something incredibly funny but the person you are talking to makes it clear that they think you are dumb as rocks and they leak looks of pity all over the place in hopes that it cleans you up gives you some hope of dignity? Yeah, that happened this weekend. It happens a lot actually, so maybe I should check my humor at the door, as it is certainly not conveying my intent. This weekend, after exchanging numbers with a family member, I (for whatever reasons) made it a point to tell her that I always key in the area code while saving numbers to my phone book. After realizing it was a stupid statement to make, I reiterated it in a much slower, struggling for thought, “this one time at band camp” kind of way. By the look on her face I could tell she was completely lost on my humor, but she sealed it by saying “yeah, that’s a smart thing to do” in a very “Oh honey” type of way. Which made me laugh out loud, to which she responded with a blank stare, to which I replied likewise. Cue awkward silence…aaaaand scene! Just another repeat chapter in my life, say la vie.
This week’s Monday Mash-Up was brought to you by: