On NPR, I was listening to a literary critic review a book. At the end, he repeated the author’s name, which sounded just like the critic’s name. For a second, it made me think the critic was reviewing his own book. I was mistaken, but that made me think how unusual it would sound to have an author review his/her own book.
Given the ever-shrinking budgets of major newspapers, one can imagine a time when the newspapers can no longer afford book reviewers. The newspapers will tell the authors to review their own books – but use the honor system, you guys! If the book sucks, say so.
So, here goes: two self-reviewed books.
Sparky McNazi: How The Tuft Of Hair On My Dog’s Snout Makes Him Look Like Adolf Hitler by TDW
Reviewed by TDW
Authors are creative souls. We tell stories. We’re storytellers. But that doesn’t mean that every book idea is a good one. Sparky McNazi is perhaps the worst piece of crap pressed between two binders that I’ve run across in decades. Granted I ran across it because I wrote it, but it’s a steaming pile regardless of how I learned of it.
First, what is a “McNazi”? The Scottish had nothing to do with the Nazis. That’s just some made up name I picked because it sounded catchy. It’s historically inaccurate and I can’t believe it got past my editor. Now that I think about it, this horrific “book” is really my editor’s fault. What was he thinking? Save yourself some money and move right on past this one.
Second, there’s no plot, no story. I noticed my dog had a Hitler mustache and I wrote a book about it. I took a mildly (arguably) interesting observation and turned it into a whole book. What’s next? A book about how a co-worker and I said the same thing at the same time in a meeting once? “Jinx! Buy me a coke.” Now, I’ll write a book about it. Do yourself a favor – when you see this book in the store, notify the manager. Maybe he’ll yank it from the shelf and save you the trouble of having to see it twice.
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Nome (Know ‘em)? He’s My Uncle! by TDW
Reviewed by TDW
In this laugh out loud, uproarious feel-good story, I had me in stitches from the first paragraph. Chester Clacken is a marketing executive on the fast track to nowhere – until his wish to become his ultra-successful uncle becomes a reality. I hit my stride in this hilarious page-turner. How I was able to take an obvious rip-off of Freaky Friday and turn it into a rib-tickling romp shows that I am truly a master of my craft. Too bad Oprah is no longer on the air. This book would have landed me on her couch. It’s two thumbs up for this generation’s favorite funny man – me.
take a leap