There was this sound, screeching maybe, but not so much of a squeal, only because a squeal is nearly impossible to ignore, but the nagging effect of a squeal was definitely present. It might be more like the sound of ceiling fans revolving relentlessly, pushing the same air around the room changing nothing, but the perception of feeling cooler. There was a haunting; the buzzing sound of life taking place around me, a constant background to the mundane life my path had taken me.
*sound of a record screeching to a halt*
What it all boils down to is that I needed a shake up, so when my friend Audra invited me to go to Vegas with her and a group of friends…I was (to state the absolute very least) in!
As the weeks leading up to the trip passed by, friends and family members were intrigued at what I might be doing in Vegas. I joked that I would be drunk the entire time, a part of me wanted that to be true, but for the most part I never made any real plans to accomplish anything, except to squeeze in a hike at Red Rock Canyon (ß this did not happen). Before I knew it, it was the morning of the trip and I couldn’t be happier to spend 10 hours in the car with Audra and (as luck would have it) my sister, Jessica. Go ahead and let that sink in, 10 hours!! I was happy to do it; I mean, clearly, Vegas needed to happen.
Now, believe me when I say this, I don’t drink often (it’s pretty rare) but when I do, I’m all in, frat party style in. With that said, my sister and I decided to get a jug of Crown (“jug” that’s my terminology for it; if it’s got a handle it’s a jug) to do some room drinking, while Audra decided to stick to patron and ummm..cookies. Once we got there we took a little nap, as the last hour of the car ride did us in. We got up had a drink (Audra ate her uh..cookie) and once we were all ready to roll Audra had determined that she couldn’t move…she was positively wrecked from her, ya know…cookie, where she spent the remainder of her night in bed tasting her words and playing giggle talk with her friend Karen. So Jess and I hit the strip together. I remember making it to several different hotels/casinos stopping in at random lounges and doing shots of Jack with different people, even setting up a prompt 11 a.m. shot date with a lovely couple from Boston. (Jess, lovingly telling our new friends: “You keep saying “bah” whenever they said “bar”). We came back to the room (I’d love to know how we managed that) making a huge scene, Jess threw her shoes at our roommates and then we slept.
Wake up. Rinse. Repeat. 2nd night started with room drinking, cookies, and a plan to make it to Fremont Street. On our way out we decided to stop in for a shot at Dick’s Last Resort. Audra had been dying for us to go to the place where she lamented the fabulousness of eating out while the staff relentlessly acts like dicks to you and makes you embarrassing hats. Sober me felt like she didn’t love the idea, room drinking Harmony was all “hells to the yeah” about it. As we approached the bar at Dick’s we were told, “have a seat, whores” and “let’s see some ID bitches.” I don’t know, challenge accepted, I guess. Because at some point the bartender told me “whoa, you don’t work here settle down.” No worries, I didn’t totally offend him. We chatted a bit, he made me a hat and we were on our way.
On our way out some of the knights from the tournament stopped us asking if we wanted necklaces (ie cheap plastic Mardi-gras style beads), the girls seeing right through their scam said “no,” but I was pretty wasted and felt like “pfffftt, shit yeah I want a necklace.” So, they dragged us over to do some pictures. Jess became fixated on wanting a necklace of every color; so bordering on the edge of relentless she kept reminding the guy that she wanted a purple one, which caused him to question:
Guy: “Do you say anything else?”
Jess: “I am Groot.”
(I will NEVER stop laughing at this, never!)
Walking through those hotel doors to the Vegas Strip immediately put me into a black zone, from there on out, I have flashes of memories. Like everything being super hilarious, trying to start some form of card / drinking game with strangers using the ever available prostitute cards on the strip, and being on a bus at some point feeling sick. I’m told that I laughed for 2 hours straight, talked to a wall for 10 minutes and that I went on a spree of profanity yelling as I bumped into people in crowded areas. At some point we made it back to the room and sleep was to be had.
Wake up. Rinse. Repeat. 3rd night started off with some room drinking and plans to make it to Fremont Street (take 2). Because we had so much fun at Dick’s the night before we were definitely stopping there first for some shots on the way out. Of all the people that worked in our hotel that stopped us and talked to us at least 15 times a day, yet showed no signs of the slightest hint of our being familiar to them whatsoever, I was absolutely floored that the bartenders remembered us when we walked in. And while I pressed my memory for anything that could make us memorable, or more precisely: ashamed, I bordered along the line of momentary spazzery. But you know what? Vegas. Pffft. I ordered a double shot of Jack and let the night proceed without further thought. Jess switched her game up to Jager, while Audra kept cool with her Patron.
Dick’s on Saturday night was totally different than Friday. Lots of music and the DJ required that the entire bar interact. We all had to sing along, clap our hands and try our best to get it right. If you fouled up, he called you out on it and threatened to punish the entire bar with horrible music if you didn’t get your shit together. Audra fell victim to this while failing to clap along correctly to Queen’s “We Will Rock You.” Don’t worry though, she pushed through her drunken haze and managed to spare us all from the sounds of the Backstreet Boys. Jess became a social butterfly, fluttering all around the bar making new friends, reading everyone’s hats and hugging every single person she spoke to…it was beautiful. She introduced Audra and I to a couple that was getting married the very next day to which we both immediately and simultaneously responded with “don’t do it!” Luckily, we all had a good laugh at that. **side eyes* We did some shots with the husband and wife to be and wished them our best. Shortly there after, Jess got cut-off, thus ending our time at Dick’s (thanks for all the laughs fellas!). And through those magic doors to the strip that makes everything a hazy dream we went.
We never did grace Fremont Street with our presence. 3rd night ended with Jess rolling out of the elevator, she did Vegas right that night. I don’t know even know how we got her to the room. I don’t know how they got me to the room the night before, or how Jess and I made it back to the room the night before that. 4th night started off with some room drinking…but we played it cool that night, as we had a 10-hour car ride home the next morning. 8 of which was spent in a deep fog where we randomly grunted at one another just to show that we were still breathing. Coming home felt just as good as leaving did. Every hour that passed on the way home my heart ached to get to the kids. I couldn’t wait to get home, feel their hugs and hear their cheers of “mom!” as I walked in the door.
Ryder (once I got his attention): “That was the best 5 days of my life!”
Everybody needed a little Vegas, I suppose.